Soliloquy...

"Lives of great men all remind us/We can make our lives sublime/And, departing, leave behind us/Footprints on the sands of time;Footprints, that perhaps another/Sailing o'er life's solemn main/A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,Seeing, shall take heart again. Let us, then, be up and doing,With a heart for any fate ;Still achieving, still pursuing,Learn to labor and to wait. Voices of The Night; A psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have mellowed over time, no longer the fiery temperamental young man...some call that maturity but I call it 'learning the ways of the world.' In it, I have had nights of introspection, trying to put meaning to why I live... It's that time of the year...the end of it..when I take stock of my deeds..my achievements..my failures...and what the world held me for and what I accrued from it.. I am doing something right now..but that iota of satisfaction is missing...the sense of being helpful lacking. What am I gaining...is it just money? In which case, I have failed in my quest to leave a worth while footprint...what am I learning..Is it anything substantial for my future quests...or am I just getting comfortable? "Better to suffer it than live under it/I'm never gonna be just fine, no way/I'm never gonna be that guy/I'm never gonna be just fine/but there are times i need you to remind me/I'm never gonna be that guy/I'm never gonna be just fine." The consequences of leaving are great...the uncertainty! But it's time I left...wander and wander till I reach my destination... It's a risk that I'm willing to take and move yonder to the unknown... Time to begin life afresh...

A Longtime, Is A Short Time.....Carthasis?

I do give my whole in everything I do. I learnt that the hard way. Over time, you get the feeling all is not what it seems. Sometimes, one feels like they are giving up. But when you wake up in the middle of the night and think of where you want to be: it's a spur to work harder. It's an own volition but then some things are kept away from you. One wonders.... Mornings are hopeful, evenings, a body soaking moment, to get rid of the days fatigue. For how long should this go on.. I long for others to be human. To understand the basic tenets of motivation; try to make someone feel they are helpful and their ideas are worth. It may not be the greatest of ideas or Nobel winning initiatives but there is a chance, when appreciated. I feel the need to take a walk, but I would like to do so when am content, I made a change in my life. I made a positive improvement in attitudes and perceptions of others. I made a change in life. It's not easy, but I will. I agree with the mantra: wait and your turn shall come. But I also live by a personal ethos; knock and it shall be opened. I am going for it. This is the time....it may not seem the-ready-time for you but for me. I am in for it.. Join me in my journey...